I thought I was helping my team when I kept correcting the work and pointing out what was missing. I wanted a high standard. Over time, I began to notice that people were choosing what to bring me according to how they expected me to react.
That was difficult to admit. I wanted people to take responsibility, but I kept stepping in before they could do it. I wanted them to think through a problem, while making it safer to wait for my answer.
The pressure of the business made my behavior easy to explain to myself. Clients were waiting and mistakes could be expensive. I told myself I was protecting the work, without giving enough attention to what my approach was doing to the people responsible for it.
I needed to change how I held the standard. I had to listen longer before correcting and ask questions before supplying an answer. I also had to let people carry the work without hovering over every decision.
An apology was part of that change, but the team needed to experience something different afterward. They had reason to be cautious. I could not expect one conversation to erase a pattern I had helped create.
I still care about quality and still have strong views about the work. I need to pay attention to whether people can question those views or bring me a problem early. If your team spends more effort managing your reaction than explaining what is happening, what could you do differently in the next review?