Live or be certain

I like clarity.

I do not like pretending.

For a long time, I confused the two.

When I was younger, certainty made me feel strong. If I was sure, I sounded decisive. If I sounded decisive, people believed I knew where I was going. If people believed that, I felt safer.

But life kept interrupting my certainty.

Business changed when I thought it would keep growing. Customers reacted differently than I expected. People I loved did not experience me the way I intended. Projects failed even when the plan looked sensible.

I wrote about one of those moments in I lost it all and was back to square one. At first, I wanted to treat the downturn as a bump. Then the bump became a boulder. Certainty did not help me. Clear seeing did.

That difference matters.

Certainty often arrives too early. It closes the door before the room has spoken. It gives the leader relief, but not always truth.

Clarity is different. Clarity can live with uncertainty. It can say, “I do not know yet, but this is what I see.”

I have found that the best leaders are not certain all the time. They are honest about what is known, what is assumed, what is risky, and what needs to be watched.

In rooms, this changes everything. When a leader pretends certainty, the room often performs agreement. When a leader allows uncertainty, the room may finally begin thinking.

That is not weakness. It is respect for reality.

I am still tempted by certainty. Especially when pressure is high. Especially when people look to me for an answer. Especially when the room wants closure.

But sometimes closure is too expensive.

To live is to stay in conversation with what is changing. To be certain too early is to stop listening while the facts are still arriving.

I would rather live with discomfort than build on false certainty.

That lesson has come to me the hard way. More than once.