I know what it is like to keep answering calls, solving problems and making decisions while becoming less available to the people around me. The work keeps moving, so it is easy to take that as evidence that I am doing well too.
At first, I could explain the tiredness and impatience as part of the responsibility. People needed a decision. An issue needed attention. There was always a reason to keep going, and I kept responding to it.
The effect became harder to explain when I felt distant from things I had cared about. I could still perform the role, but I was giving less attention to the relationships and experiences outside it. Being needed at work helped me avoid looking at that cost.
A lost client or a failed project gives a business a visible problem to address. The effect of someone’s constant absence can be harder to name, especially when that person is still meeting the demands everyone can see. The people closest to them may notice the change first.
I had to admit that functioning was not the same as being well. I also had to admit that my responsibility included what I was allowing the job to do to the people around me. Completing another task would not answer that concern.
I still need to ask what the work is asking of me and what I am choosing to give it. Look beyond what you completed this week. Is there someone who has found you harder to reach, even when you were with them? That conversation may tell you something the work calendar does not.